The inspector stepped out onto the glistening cobbles as the flashing
lights on the authorities’ cars around him lit up the street in pulsing colours
of blue and red. Glancing at the decrepit mansion he took in a deep breath and
sighed with conte
mpt at human crime. Here, he was… again. Stepping into who
knows what foul crime had been committed by the riffraff of the city. To make
matters worse, the delinquents had decided to do it in some sagging and
abandoned building. Life isn’t a Christie novel for crying out loud.
The floorboards creaked under his
feet he stepped through into the decrepit mansion. The stark illumination from
search lights created an eerie contrasting brilliance within the usually
darkened house, causing termites and cobwebs alike to shine. Broken windows and
rotted walls allowed beams from the outside lights to steal into the central
hall and consume the confronting scene.
Stopping short before walking into the main hall, the inspector spied
an old ornate wooden table spanning the room under a dust-ridden and broken
chandelier. Cups, knives and baskets of swollen food lay spilled across the
table as the guests around it slumped with lifeless eyes staring beyond the
table into the afterlife. It certainly was a meal to die for.
‘ ‘Scuse me Inspector Black but it
seems we have a murder on our hands,’ piped a stout man in uniform beside the
inspector who awoke from his musings about the scene with a start.
‘Well of course we do! What else
would we have?’ he angrily retorted.
With a grin spreading across his
face, the little officer replied, ‘We ‘aven’t found the corpses yet but I ‘ave
my suspicions… very unusual circumstances it being ‘ere and all.’
‘What do you mean haven’t found the
corpses? They’re slumped at the table for crying out loud!’
‘Oh no sir, I do believe you’re
mistaken. No corpses ‘round ‘ere. No tables either.’ With a wink he strode off
in the opposite direction.
I
swear that man is as blind as a post! thought Inspector Black as he watched
the little officer waddle away. Shaking his head, he strode into the darkened
room that had begun to smell of rot with a cover of sickly sweet cold meat.
Each guest was finely dressed as if ready for a dinner party with pearls
gleaming from the women’s ears and ties hanging from the men’s necks like
nooses. It was obvious that they were all wealthy and had all gathered here by
choice as each one of them were impeccably dressed. But the question was why? Why
gather in a place like this?
Leaning down to sniff the food, the inspector began to go through the motions
of considering what had happened. It was then that he noticed a corpse sitting
at the head of the table with its head firmly planted in the plate of food
before him. Immediately Black knew that poison had been at work and that this
very man was the host of the party for corpses.
‘Inspector, Inspector!’ cried the
officer from the upper landing of the main hall, interrupting the thoughts of
the inspector. ‘We’ve found the corpses. It’s all very peculiar. They’re seated
around a table like some strange party.’
Struggling to maintain a grip on his
temper, the inspector turned to the officer and shouted up to him, ‘yes, I
know! I’m bloody well standing in front of them!’
‘So you are! What a strange
coincidence. You know what? I bet they’re not even dead, they’re probably some
strange red-herring to throw us off the scent of the real crime!’ And with that
he strode off once more to investigate throughout the house.
With shocking disbelief at the
incredulity of his co-worker, the inspector once more began to walk around the
table and study the faces of the dead. Each corpse had something peculiar about
them. One man with hair oiled to perfection had two crushed plums that had been
forcefully pressed into his face, one in each eye. The man next to him had a
smear of greasy mustard all over his face covering the beginnings of a beard
while a woman who sat opposite him had had her face vandalised with streaks of
bright scarlet lipstick. As he attempted to connect the mysterious appearances
of the people lying around him, the officer suddenly appeared next to him,
brandishing a bright red letter.
‘I do believe I’ve found a clue
inspector!’ Rolling his eyes, Black took the envelope and read the letter
inside.
You are cordially
invited to a Murder Mystery this Friday evening in the abandoned house at 6
Stumpin Street. Please arrive at 6:00pm sharp and be in your best attire that
suits your character.
Your character is: Mr
Boddy.
‘A murder mystery? What kind of
sadistic joke is this killer trying to make?’ inquired Black with eyes raised
in disapproval. Strangely as the Inspector glanced at his watch, he noticed it
was only just six o’clock now.
‘Oh it’s a game, Inspector! Such a
fun game, I’ve been to a few good ‘uns in my time,’ replied the rotund man.
‘Oh? And who is this Mr Boddy?’
‘Why sir, don’t you get it? It’s a
game of Cluedo!’ cried the officer.
With a jolt the Inspector looked
over the corpses again in muted shock. Professor Plum, Miss Scarlet, Cornel
Mustard and all the rest stared back at him with gaping eyes. ‘But who on Earth
is Mr Boddy?’ the Inspector mumbled to himself.
‘Why they were Red Herrings all
along sir,’ the officer grinned happily and rubbed his belly.
‘I don’t understand – what are the red
herrings?’
‘Oh you really are daft aren’t you
Inspector Black? They’re the Red Herrings,’ he said as he waved to the guests
sitting at the table, ‘and you sir, are Mr Boddy, the dead body in a great game
of Cluedo!’
With a triumphant cry the officer
removed a gun from the front of his trousers and shot the rusted chord holding
the chandelier upright. With an almighty crash the ringed metalwork fell down
on top of Inspector Black crushing him through the rotted floor next to the
table. All that was left was the gaping black shape of a figure of a man in the
old and mouldy floorboards just like the shape of a dead body on a Cluedo
board.