The Greatest Tragedy is...

The greatest tragedy is the disappearance of the unicorns.

Why did they disappear? Was it our fault? Did we hunt them to extinction?

All of these questions are significantly important when we need to investigate this mysterious matter that has puzzled many civilisations for centuries.

Was it the ice age that scared them off? DO they now live elsewhere? The moon perhaps?

Statistics state that the development and increase of the human population pre-medieval times blew out and unsettled the ecosystem in which the unicorns live. Increase in light pollution caused by the invention of fire has said to dim the glow of their majestic horns into white husks of bone and thus causing them to disintegrate. Some say that horses were the direct descendants of unicorns as their anatomical structure is remarkably similar however scientists are still looking for proof of this fact within the horse genome.

The Irish folk of Northern Ireland believe in two theories for the disappearance of these wonderful beasts. Their first is that the early Irish and their Leprechaun associates mined the gold contained in the horns of the unicorns for profit thus through Natural Selection, the horns eventually disappeared from the heads of unicorns causing horses to appear instead. Their other theory is that the early Leprechauns double dealt their human associates and went into hiding with the unicorns. The Irish are still, to this day, investigating the matter.

This is indeed a very significant tragedy in today’s society as there are now children being born all over the world with questions such as:

“What is a unicorn mummy?” and “What do unicorns look like daddy?”

These startling comments from the future generation of Earth signify the immense loss and impact the disappearance of unicorns has caused upon society. 

We are lost without the pearlescent glow of their horns and the silvery magnificence of their hides. Who will now guide lost explorers through woods when they forget to bring light equipment? How will their presence remain in our memories for generations to come?

Action is needed to investigate the cause and hence bring hope of the reappearance unicorns back to the people of Earth. If we do nothing the unicorn legacy may die out and we will lose the most unique animal we have ever had on this Earth forever.

Their glittering silver locks fleeting through woods will surely be missed by the world.

The greatest tragedy is the disappearance of the unicorns.

(Comic Factual Story - Please note, all statistics and facts are most likely made up)

An Australian Afternoon

When the river gurgles
as the breeze blows through the grass
the soft scent of freedom
creeps very slowly past

A frog sits upon the log
looking lazily at the sight
of children playing gleefully
in the softly fading light

The platypus he glides along,
and plays upon the banks
he nods his head to the frog
as a sign of thanks.

If fireflies were present here
they'd light up the way home

for all the baby joeys
who like all day to roam.

Baby possums in a tree
have a quiet chat
talking about the day they've had
and of getting fat.

Across the way the children go
all back home for supper
the kettle's on the boil
while their mum just wants a cuppa.

Down the road a bilby wakes
ready to meet the night
Scampering off in the bush
giving some Lorikeets a fright.

Now it's time we come to you
sitting there and staring
reading this and wondering
Why should I be caring?  

Hush and listen to the wind
as the sun winds down
It's calling out for you to smile
and remove your harrowing frown.

Life's too short to miss a day
and not see the place around you
take in all the sounds and smells
 and all the new sights too.

The river still - it gurgles on
making its slow way
through the lives of many people
encouraging at least a smile a day.

(Bit of Australian Poetry)

Dream Criminal

BOOM...BOOM...DOOM...

Did that Gavel just say Doom?!

"Jonathan Pickering, please stand and explain to the jury why you are here," spoke the leering face from the high wooden counter.

Why am I here? I didn't do anything... at least I don't think I did anything...

With a big HARRRUMPH! the judge now was losing patience, "Johnathan Pickering - we're waiting."

"Well... I... um... why am I here exactly?"

Rolling her eyes, the judge pulled forth a scroll that was lined from top to bottom with meticulous writing. "Under the Decree for Personal Psychological Protection - you have violated the law about manipulating the conscious and subconscious of several other individuals against their will. How do you plea?"

The what of the whaty what hunh?

"Innocent! I don't even know what you- oh, that... well it wasn't my fault, I didn't know what was happening..."

"So you ARE guilty!" said the judge who's comment was backed by much murmuring coming from the panel of people behind her.

"No, no... it's that I... ah well, I'll tell you the story... It all started one night when I found myself well... in a dream... only it wasn't mine...

...................................................................................................................................................................

As I looked around me all I saw was clouds of strange hues of pink and purples and I knew, this was no where near one of my dreams. How I got there, I have no idea, but what I did know was that all I could do was wait passively to see what would happen next. Sure enough a little girl in a frilly pink dress appeared soaring out of the nearby cloud on what looked like a golden chariot. As she moved, the clouds around me soon parted to show that I was perched in the sky above some strange meadow filled with red cows. Obviously this was when I began to really flip out and decided that somehow I had to get back to my own dream. So, without further ado, I... it's hard to say and I bet I'm sounding crazy at the moment but I... flew through the clouds until I came upon a barrier that felt like some sort of electrically charged gelatin. So I pushed,

and pushed,
and pushed,

Until I pushed so hard that something seemed to snap and I fell through into what looked like some sort of underwater world. Yes, there were sharks and colourful coral and what looked like a pair of scuba divers. Immediately they saw me and suddenly the entire world began to shift and shape itself into what seemed to be a police office. Everything but the hole I ripped through the membrane of the dream.

So as the world changed, so did the two scuba divers, one disappeared whereas the other turned into a policeman who glared at me across the table I was sitting at. After quizzing me about what I was doing there, I managed to make a run for it through a door opposite my chair. Turns out I wasn't supposed to as I tore another hole in the dream and stumbled from this world onto a hill upon which was a single oak tree.

Sitting upon a wooden swing on the oak tree... was well... believe it or not - myself.

This was when things got really bad.

(Sci-Fi fantasy intro, personally I don't really like it, but its up to you as to what you think about it)

My Life and Cats

Cats. Cats here, cats there, cats everywhere! They follow me, I swear it. Every time I go out in public, I only have to throw a glance over my shoulder and see one stalking me. There are black ones, skinny ones, tabby ones, Siamese and even those massive Mancoons. That’s right, stalking. They don’t walk, they don’t prance; they stalk. It’s all because of the time I insulted a cat…

I was walking along a road in the middle of the day and everything was as sweet as honey. I was even whistling and you must know; I never whistle. So as I passed the corner of Manson and Bly streets, I came across as strange assortment of creatures. One was a dog, one was a budgie, another was a frog and there, sitting in front of the group was a black cat.

His eyes were as yellow as a squash and fur as silky black as a flowing river in the middle of a moonless night. Each ear was pricked forward, listening to the unintelligible babble of the animals around it and a knowing smile spread across the lips. “Could this be the Cheshire cat, the one from that bizarre story of a girl down a rabbit hole?” I thought as my pace halted half-way around the corner. “No, you’re just being stupid.” I did notice one thing though. One thing so significant that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. As I neared a little closer to the group, the cat turned and spoke with a strange British accent:

“It’s rude to eavesdrop you know. Please mind you own business.”

My jaw dropped to the ground beneath me. Boy, did my perspective change on this animal. I had just witnessed a cat talking, shaking his paw at me as if to shoo me away he continued to glare.

“Cats can’t talk!” I shouted back at him with my mouth in the shape of a vortex of shock.

“Well you stupid humans don’t listen that often do you? Only when you want to find out some juicy news or some gossip,” he retorted with another sharp jab of his paw into the air, “Shoo now.”

Shocked to the core, I was quick to lose my temper. I wasn’t as cool as a cucumber anymore, panic began to overwhelm me. “Am I mad? Have I really lost it?” flew around my mind as it tried to make sense of the boggled mess it was in.

“Don’t shoo me, you stupid dirty animal,” I boldly replied. But as I did so, I knew that it was a mistake.

With the narrowing of those golden orbs, the cat screeched one syllable which erupted into a pandemonium of legs flying everywhere. The bird pecked at my ears, the frog launched himself onto my face, the dog bit my leg and the cat just went berserk in all the wrong places. Now the sky began to whirl and new points of pain erupted all over my body as these animals attacked me.

“Thanks for the inspiration for my next show,” said a clown as he walked by and didn’t bother helping.

Once I had disentangled my legs from the legs and wings of various other animals, I raced home as fast as I could only stopping once to look back at those all-knowing eyes watching me, always watching. So that is why cats stalk me and hunt me both in my dreams and in the real world. The worst thing about it is that there’s a crazy cat lady next door and you know what that means…

(Attempt at Comic Short Story)